Sharing Bites

Ha! You probably thought this was going to be about me eating a bite of someone's ice cream or cookie. Wrong!

This is about my food. My weighed and measured, accounted for food each day.

Yesterday I sat down to my weighed and measured breakfast. My dog came over to stare at me, patiently waiting to see if any would fall to the floor. I looked at the love and hope in his eyes and I gave him some of my breakfast. I did not replace what I gave him with more food for me.

Not the same squirrel

Later, while out and about, I was pausing to have a snack and a squirrel came over and sat in front of me, hoping there was something in my hand for him. I broke off a piece and gave it to him. He came back twice more and got two more pieces of my protein bar. I did not use that as an excuse to add some more food into my day.

At dinner a few nights ago I looked down at my weighed and measured dinner on the plate and realized (1) I was full, (2) there was still food on the plate. I literally sat there for a few minutes thinking about it. Should I eat it? But I am not hungry now. Should I toss it? But what if I get hungry later and want it: Am I going to try and replace it with something else later, justifying it as making up for what I missed at dinner?

I took the brave step and tossed it out. I did not look for anything else to eat all evening. I slept well.  I woke up normally without feeling unduly hungry. If you absolutely follow a daily plan and weigh/measure your food, do you ever leave food on the plate? It was new behavior for me. I don't usually NOT finish a meal. I stay within my guidelines - both sides of them.

How often do you cross your food guidelines before the lines start to fade?

Jane~

Susceptible Tandying

I commented on another blog the other day and the 'word verification' instead of a nonsense combination of letters, I had to type in  Susceptible Tandying. 

sus·cep·ti·ble   (adj.)
1. Easily influenced or affected.
2. Likely to be affected.
3. Especially sensitive; highly impressionable.
4. Permitting an action to be performed; capable of undergoing.

"Tandying" is not a word in the English language Dictionary. The only reference that comes up is in relation to Jessica Tandy (actress).  I liked the work of this actress. She could make you believe she was really the characters she portrayed. Therefore, I have decided to make "Tandying" a word that means "Successfully maintaining an illusion."

This means that Susceptible Tandying according to my genius mind spare time spent thinking this up, will mean:

Easily influenced or affected by anyone/anything successfully maintaining an illusion

Why did I bother making this up? I had a few spare minutes.

Susceptible Tandying is when we believe the notion that the fruit in a pie makes it a health food because someone else tells us so. It is when we believe one serving of something that has always negatively affected us will be 'ok' this time because some famous charleton guru paid spokesperson says so. It is when we believe that using a device 10 minutes a day will make us look exactly like (insert the person who has your ideal body type).

It is when I believe the lies I tell myself in order to justify making a poor choice.

These choices are not always about food, weight and keeping the pounds off. Peer influences, 'mob mentality' and  seeking to find acceptance with people, places and things  I might see as the 'fun crowd' can cause me to sway from my own true self and adapt to these influences in order to belong. I am not always aware when I am being influenced in a way that is negative to my life.  It is Susceptible Tandying behavior.

 For many years during my weight loss process I concentrated only on putting down the food and picking up light and happy thoughts without working on the Me that lay buried under the remnants of my food and fat mask. Uncovered and under-developed, I sought to pull a veil over raw Me rather than risk the pain of exposure.

Today, as a result to putting the excess food aside I am facing what comes up. I have stopped pushing it aside in favor of jumping on the hip bandwagon and cracking the whip on someone else. The process of facing and owning my character defects is excruciating at times - but then again, so was living as a morbidly obese woman. 

Jane~

Dear Mommy

Happy Mother's Day. I miss you.

It is eleven months today that you have been gone. The world continues to be a crazy place and there has been some great sadness since you left but you know all that.

Owls are still popping up everywhere. Even you would have been saying enough of the owl stuff already . . . .  We saw a movie a few weeks ago, The Big Wedding and in the movie one character wears a t-shirt that reads "Owls are Assholes." It kind of made me laugh. But you know all that.

I believe you are well aware of all that happens with all you loved here on earth so I will not rehash what you already know. We are healthy and continue to see changes and growth in our lives for the better. We are still taking it one day at a time. You know all that, too.

I don't know if you are aware of what is in my mind. I am assuming God does not give angels such as yourself insight into our minds (although I could be wrong about that. I could also be wrong about angels, God and Sacred Squirrels - but I chose to ignore that today). I want to let you know that in these past eleven months I have waited for you to come to visit me in a dream - and you haven't.

That makes me sad. It has troubled me a bit more than I like to admit but I have admitted it and recently my darling mentor gave me a poem excerpted from Benedictus (John O'Donohue) . This is the last verse:

Gradually, you will learn acquaintance
With the invisible form of your departed;
And when the work of grief is done,
The wound of loss will heal
And you will have learned
To wean your eyes
From that gap in the air
And be able to enter the hearth
In your soul where your loved one
Has awaited your return
All the time.

I just wanted to let you know I am working toward weaning my eyes from the gap and returning to the place where you have been awaiting my return. I like to think that is true.

I hope to visit with you there soon.

Love always,
Janie~
 

Is it a Funny Friday?

Heard something while I was out this morning and could not wait to get back to the computer because I wanted to post it here. Then, after I wrote it down and looked at it, I realized it was okay, but not really worth the effort. It wasn't really that funny. I deleted it.

This is not what I heard. I was looking
for a clip art to add to the post and this
popped up when I typed in "Funny Friday"

Impulsive Eating is just like that only instead of hearing a food, I see it,  want it and cannot wait to get it into my mouth. If I can pause enough to look at it I can get the presence of mind to think about it and realize it is not worth the effort. If it is something already in my body I often realize it wasn't really that good, certainly not good enough for the consequences of the impulse. Wouldn't it be great to be able to stand back and objectively delete.

So far today I have worked out, accompanied my husband to a doctor's appointment (good news there),  prepared dinner for two nights (yes, at 10:30 am) and gone food shopping. I am going out with my daughter this evening to see David Tutera. She is also taking me out to dinner at a good seafood place. I am thinking crab and red snapper or crab and scallops. Or maybe crab and crab. For the sides I am having double green beans.

I do not know how funny today will be but I am looking forward to enjoying the day, on plan, with the companionship of my daughter and perhaps even winning some prizes at the event - all while keeping the pounds off for another day. That is better than funny.

How do you delete?

Jane~

 

Busy and Balanced

Part of the joy (and responsibility) of giving up excess food for a full life means I sometimes get so busy I have less time for some of the many, many things I really enjoy doing. This week I am too busy  to]sit and write many posts. Others can do it but I am not very good at juggling. So I am going to keep today's post brief.

My food remains sane and balanced. I have not had any cravings for a while now, which is beyond wonderful.  My body feels good and I notice I am standing straighter again since I increased my weights and core training.

I have not joined any cleanse-parties, name your favorite-flavor-everyday-this-month groups or food/fitness challenges. I am concentrating on what I will do every day for the rest of my life and looking forward to the possibility that my life will be a longer one because of it. Next month maybe I will find something to play with for the month.

I hope everyone who is a mommy has a wonderful Mother's Day. I hope everyone who has a mom shares some love with their mommy everyday and not just this Sunday. I hope anyone who misses their mom (or a child) will find peace in their hearts this Mother' Day and share their love with the rest of the world.

Mother's Day is not one of my overeating holidays. I traditionally have shrimp salad and a Corona Beer.  I drink a Corona about three times a year. This year I am making the shrimp salad at home. Not sure if I will have the beer this year.

Keep it Light. Keep it honest. Keep it Simple.

Jane~

Diets Over Time

Here is a sampling of diets I tried or considered over the years. I make no representation as to the effectiveness and safety of any diet listed here. In some cases I added the year I used each plan.

The C Food (See Food) Diet: You see food and you eat it. It does not have a good track record. I think it is the first thing people get wrong in intuitive eating. Seeing food and wanting it does not mean you intuitively need it for your body.

The Flu Plan - 1978:
Get the flu and be sick for 10-14 days. Lose 15 pounds as your kick start and then eat the following every single weekday:
Bkfst: 1 freshly baked chocolate chip cookie and a coffee with half and half. Nothing else till dinner. On weekends I skipped breakfast completely
Dinner: Either 2 lettuce leaves with 3 oz of tuna in water drizzled with 2 tbs diet 1000 island dressing OR 1 can of New England clam chowder made with 2% milk. That is all you get until you lose 50 pounds total in about three months. Then you fight the regain for two years until you gain it all back plus 20 more. I followed this plan when I was a teenager. That is why I would never want to be a teenager again. Teens are crazy.

Jesus and His Mother Diet: 1994, courtesy of a relative who found it at the St Alyoishis Convent in New York State. The idea was that every time you wanted to overeat you stop and have a cup of tea with Jesus and His Mother. It worked for about three days and then I started having muffins and jam with whoever wanted to come to tea. Then I decided that the Virgin Mary was a coffee drinker and she liked heavy cream.

Free Food Diet: You can eat everything you want and as much of it as you want - as long as it has zero calories or burns more calories to eat and digest than in contains. Basically this diet consists of raw celery, diet soda, Sweet n Low packets, and lemon slices. I never tried it Let me know how you did. . . .

What would Satan Eat Diet: You can eat anything that has been doused in super hot sauce or covered in Habenero peppers. This includes chocolate. You will not be able to leave the house for awhile. Also, if you overeat you will have ulcers in your mouth from the capsaicin in the peppers. I have not tried this diet. Any takers?

Atkins: Did this in 2003. Lost lots of weight eating whole milk products, bacon, whole eggs, cream cheese, beef, pork and chicken. Lost about 70 pounds. When I cut myself and bled heavy cream I knew it was time to find another diet. So I switched to

The South Beach Diet 2004. Don't remember much about this idea except that it included berries, veggies and South Beach Bars along with lots of the high fat food of the Atkins plan. I started having gastrointestinal problems and thought I had stomach cancer - that's how sick I felt. Endoscopy and other tests came back negative. I had to go off the diet to get well and I did, but that is when I discovered the way to eat that led me to loose and keep off 200 pounds.

How I lost my weight: Healthy whole foods, no corn sugars, very, very little processed food and lots of water coupled with keeping my protein intake around 130 grams a day, carbs under 120 grams a day and fats under 40 grams a day. Lately I have been thinking I need to take this plan to a licensed dietician and a couple of doctors to make sure I am not giving myself future grief for my kidneys with this level of protein for seven years and counting. It has worked for me but I do not know if it will work for years and years.

My next diet, when I am old, gray and forgetful is this:

The Geriatric's Diet: What's a diet? Pass the cookies.

Did you try or invent any crazy diets along the way?

Jane~

My One Intuitive Food Rule

Thanks to Marion of AffectionforFitness for asking a question about reader's experiences with Intuitive Eating. 

I think I have posted about that in the past so I will not bore you with my story but I will tell you the very happy ending. I can narrow down what I learned from my whole intuitive experience to one rule. 

My One Rule:

If my intuition tells me I deserve to eat something not normally on my food plan I thank my intuition politely for sharing and tell it to shut the f*#$ up!

What would your one rule be?

Jane~