Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Food behaviors

     In my dieting life, when I felt hungry or uncomfortable I looked for what I could eat in between meals to get me past the feelings or through to the next meal.
     Today I practice examining my 'self' and asking 'is this really hunger?' If it is hunger I have to ask "why?" Did I have my adequate and planned meal prior to this feeling? Is it close to time for the next meal? If I ate properly at the previous meal and it is almost time for the next meal then I have to wait. I accept that feeling because it is normal. NOT eating something to tide me over is healthy. If the 'why' is  I did not eat my full lunch and if I have a planned snack in my day that has not already been consumed then I have that snack - usually a serving of fruit or fat free Greek yogurt.
     But if I ate properly at lunch, had my snack and it is not time for the next meal the answer is not hunger for food. It is a reaction to something that is causing me a feeling that I am not recognizing or that I do not want to feel. I will not keep the pounds off if I eat my way past any feelings today. For me, the eating of carrots on Monday to get past some uncomfortable feeling leads to maybe adding an unplanned 2 Tb peanut butter to my apple on Tuesday. By Thursday I'll be eating brownie mix - raw and from there it only gets worse.
     The answer to eating because of what I am feeling has to be 'No' today. I like no. It tells me that I need to face my feelings and emotions: good or bad; or face myself in the mirror gaining 200 pounds. Saying 'No' to eating through any feelings is keeping the pounds off!


Vickie said...

I have written, many a time, about how I spent my first year teaching myself to eat at meal time. I literally put myself in time out against a blank wall or in the bathtub. I bawled a lot that first year. I think of that as sort of maturing up the 4 year old that was acting like a 2 year old, but I think it was a lot of grieving. Grieving of childhood not had. And it was a lot of learning to deal with anxiety of which I had always had too much and never understood how to deal. The amount that we have to deal with, when we stop shoving it down with food, is really tough. it is catch up for a whole lot of years.

good post

Jane Cartelli said...

Some days my screaming four year old still shows up. I am learning to hug myself a little bit more than I did in the past. It also makes me want to re-grow my own children so that they can have a childhood with a sane mother and not the crazy lady who brought them into the world.