Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Remember the Doritos Commercial: 'Betcha can't eat just one'

I am so grateful I no longer try to 'eat just one'. 

I cannot have 'just one'. When I have a craving and it is something I do not eat I will troll the cabinets looking for the one thing that will satisfy me. It is only when I understand satisfaction is not a food that I am granted long term progress with freedom from the obsession and the pain of my food addiction.

That means that even as I was losing weight I continued to fight for the for the foods I craved - to have something even when I knew it would lead me back to compulsion. It took me a few years of trials and lots of errors before I accepted that I cannot have even one _____ (Fill in the blank). It does not matter what the food is today. The blank can be anything that causes me to want more. 

I thought this meant a lifetime to deprivation and blandness. I sing today with joy because the truth is so far from that fear. I am not deprived and my food today is not bland or boring. 

Today I do not feel entitled to have what I want when I want it and my mind, body and spirit are all happier than when I had "just one." 

It is December 22nd and I have lost another pound. For today, I am still keeping the pounds off. 

~Jane

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes. My mother keeps asking about when I go back to eating like normal. Normal for me, means gaining weight. If there is ever any hope of being a normal weight long term, I can NEVER return to "just one" or eating like normal. For many of us, one bite is the start of a battle that we ultimately will lose.

Jane Cartelli said...

I have had that experience, too. I always tell people this is my normal. If I were deathly allergic to shrimp no one would ask when I could go back to having shrimp cocktails.