Monday, January 31, 2011

There is No Immunity Idol and This Is Not a Game

I have succeeded in losing weight and keeping all of it off, beating the odds. . . so far. . . 

The danger is in resting on that success and thinking past actions can support continued momentum.

Between 1989 and 1991 I lost 120 pounds. By 1994 I gained them back plus 60 more and never lost more than 40 pounds or kept any weight off for the next 12 years. I kept thinking and relying on the notion I had what it took to lose the weight once, I could do it again. . . . . right?

Wrong. It took a great deal of pain, humiliation, fear and loss to get me to where I could have a life without food as my God and Master. It took even more struggle to accept I was not doing it without outside help from a power greater than myself and that my experience, awareness and intelligence is not enough to keep me from joining the 93%+ of the people who gain their weight back.

Losing 200 pounds does not grant me immunity from gaining them back. I will always be an addict addicted to certain foods, flavors and behaviors. While I am out here losing weight, changing my physical, emotional and spiritual self, my disease of addiction is in the back room doing push ups and waiting for the right moment to attack.

As long as I do not forget this;  as long as I never think that I am the guiding force in my success, I have a chance to keep on keeping the pounds off. The minute I think I am doing this of my own strength and will power I am lost. There is no immunity idol. However, there is a power greater than myself and today I choose to accept that power is God. 

Thank you, God for this gift that allows me to continue to recover from obesity and physical, emotional and spiritual illness one day at a time. 

Are you relying on your own willpower to keep your pounds off today? How is that working in your life?

~Jane

4 comments:

Marcia said...

Found your blog from a comment on Huffington Post. You are an absolute inspiration!

I've read a book called "Refuse to Regain" by Dr. Barbara Berkeley, an obesity expert. What I really liked about the book was her strategies to avoid weight gain. AND the fact that her research has shown that people who are formerly obese simply, physically, respond to certain foods DIFFERENTLY than people who have never been obese.

The conventional wisdom is "eat in moderation" to maintain weight. That may work for some people, but it ignores the addictive properties of food and the physical changes obesity causes.

Jane Cartelli said...

Thank you Marcia! I am going to check out that book.It sounds enlightening (and validating). I appreciate you taking the time to write and how you will be back.

Jane~

Pretty Pauline said...

This resonates with me, as you 've just put a voice to my fears. Such thoughts make it difficult to keep it going in the beginning of the game sometimes...

Jane Cartelli said...

The great reality is that there is a solution and people do get better. In letting go of the fears I have more mental and physical focus on the goal of wellness.If my goal is simply 'skinny' I am doomed to be miserable.
~Jane