Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Six Pound Milkshake

If you clicked on this post in hopes of a visual image of the six pound milk shake - sorry, no shake for you! No calories were ingested in the writing of today's blog.

Yesterday I had the TV on while I was dozing. I awoke to find Man vs. Food was on. I do not watch the show and reached for the remote to scan the guide for a better choice. . . but then my eyes saw that the listing for that Man vs. Food episode detailed a 6 pound milk shake. Like a moth to a flame, I was drawn to the promise of food porn.

The shake contained about 2 quarts of whole milk and more than a half gallon of ice cream. It came in a choice of flavors, including my person favorite: coffee malt. The contestants had one hour to consume, along with a 1.5 lb sandwich choice, the six pound milkshake to win the challenge. For this they get a free meal (the one they just ate) and their name and picture on a wall in the establishment. This sounds like a contest from hell but that did not stop me from watching the show. 

Let's forget the sandwich for the moment. Given a choice of ingredients, there was a time I could easily eat a 24 oz sandwich or burger.  I have consumed 4 large milkshakes in the course of an hour and then spent the next three hours praying I did not get sick. The six pound milkshake would have been equal to nine milkshakes. There is no way I could consume such a shake in one hour - although there was a time I might have tried. Even at my worse period in eating I know I could not have also eaten the sandwich with the shake - in one hour. The idea of eating a massive sandwich at the same time as a large shake just brings to mind things people with bulimia have shared with me . . . and I am not going to offer that information here. 

Watching this show reinforced for me that if I ever choose to go back to mindless eating I will not be at a loss for company. The world seems to be full of people who encourage excessive eating. Oh, I would never eat that way in public. No, I would have tried it at home - in the 'safety' of my isolation. Eating excessively in public was not something I could do comfortably. For instance, when on a cruise I would eat a whole meal from the buffet and then go up for another whole meal but sit at a totally different area so 'other people' would not know how much I was really eating. Public displays of excess eating already were obvious by the size of my body. I had no desire to become a sideshow by having others watch me actually binge.

Today I am grateful that I no desire to eat excessively and that I have mechanisms that keep me from going back in that direction one day at a time. I eat easily in public and have no fear of others watching me eat. My meals satisfy me each and every day without leading me to weight gain and food obsession. I am not on a roller coaster of food and pounds today. Even more amazing is that I do not even want the first sip of a six ounce milkshake, let alone a six pounder. Today, no milkshake or malt is worth the insanity it brings into my life.  The life I get to enjoy today is better than any I made for myself when I am practicing my food addiction.

I am glad that keeping the pounds off means more to me than having my photo on an imaginary wall in my head, under a sign that reads "I finished the six pound milkshake." 

Are you comfortable eating in public today? 

~Jane

3 comments:

Fat Girl Fights Back said...

The other night I was watching a really old episode of Law and Order: SVU. Olivia and Elliot were on the street and stopped at a hot dog vendor's cart to purchase, you guessed it, a hot dog. (I know, the suspense was a killer on that one.) I thought to myself how my eating disorder would never allow me to do that. Not because I'd be tempted to order to many hot dogs - but because of my previous actions and my excessive weight, I don't like to eat in front of any strangers!

Isn't that a bit odd? It's like for years I wanted people to believe I got to 376lbs by NOT EATING. Yeah, right. Even when I binged in my car, I would park it somewhere people couldn't see me and get the binge out of the way, I wouldn't drive and binge at the same time.

Fast forward to now. I'm so proud of the foods I pack in my lunch that sometimes I secretly want people to see the healthy food I'm eating.

Jane Cartelli said...

I call that recovery! Thank you for sharing this with me. BTW: I loved your blog post about your lunch box.

Jane~

E. Jane said...

It all depends on what I'm eating. I don't like people watching me eat desserts or heave restaurant food. If I'm eating well, it's OK.