Thursday, May 26, 2011

Firm Footing

Alaska 2009
Recently a fellow traveler in cyberspace was making very adamant statements, saying that those who claim they are keeping the pounds off week in and week out are lying. She claimed that we were all hiding our slips and falls, using old photos, etc, because she could n't figure out how to have her cake and eat it, too. And I do mean cake, and brownie batter, cheese, ice cream. . . . She snacked, sometimes binged on these foods. She achieved a level of weight loss but was struggling month after month and could not imagine there were people  no longer struggling the way she did. Every time she gained weight she would lash out at anyone who suggested that perhaps what she was doing needed to be changed for her own recovery. 

She is still struggling today. I want to help her. Anyone who has been there and has found the answer wants to help her. We cannot help someone who is not willing to let go of the mythical iron fist of control. With this in mind, I do the only thing I can do. I keep offering the hope and suggestion that there is a better way even though she is not open to accepting that today. I believe when she opens that iron fist and finds that all she is gripping are her own fingers she will be ready to hear a message of hope and accept some things she cannot change. 

Recovery from food obsession and addiction is NOT for those who need it. It is for those who WANT it enough to do what needs to be done. Maybe you are not willing to go to those lengths yet. That does not make you a bad person. None of this makes one "bad" We are sick people trying to get well. The important thing to remember is there IS hope and it can be done. 

At the glacier
I do not know any other way that works for me, but I am always willing to listen to people who have proven longevity in keeping the pounds off. I think we all learn from each other. I KNOW that together we do get better. By admitting I will never have all the answers, I keep a mind open to accepting help from others who share their journey. I am not in this to claim the mountain is mine, I am here to help others find the summit because they, in turn, help me find my way there, too.

Sharing what is working over the long term: how is that helping you on your journey today? How are you helping others today?



Cenandra said...

Good post Jane! I for one am not in the mind to help others right now. I am trying to find my way. I just know that its hard to maintain and without support it makes it equally harder. I enjoy reading other friends blogs such as yours and it helps me.

Jane Cartelli said...

You may not feel you can help others right now but I know you help me and from comments I have read on your site from others you are helping them, too.

We all have more to give then we will ever know.


Mary said...

I know this feeling very well, both personally and in terms of others.

For myself, I know I like feeling healthy and staying active, but I still get worried when I feel stressed or anxious and my first thought is emotional eating. I think it shows that I'm aware of my situation and what emotional progress I still need to make, so that's not a bad thing, just a thing in progress.

For others, I know it's so hard to stand back when you want to help everyone. I get a lot of people e-mailing me and asking what I can share to help them lose weight and commit to a healthier life, and many of them get discouraged when I say that there is no magic pill or potion, that it's all about finding a plan that works for you and your life and that it's not always a smooth journey - there are bumps and struggles and lots of learning experiences along the way. I wish I could give someone else the magic words that would help them not binge eat anymore, but the best I can do is offer support as they figure out for themselves what they need to do to live with their addiction.

I am 145 pounds down, 65 to go to goal, and I am very inspired by your loss and success in maintenance!

Jane Cartelli said...

There is a reason so many people either never lose the weight or gain it back afterwards. It requires continued work on our part. Work is a four letter word. Instead, people want an easier, softer way. If there was one I think I would have found it by now.

Congrats on your great success! I know exactly how hard that was. We can inspire each other. I know I will always needs support if I am going to maintain for the rest of my life.