Thursday, July 14, 2011

Harry Potter and the Chocolate Cure

In honor of the final installment of the Harry Potter movies opening at 12 Midnight tonight, I wish to share things I have learned from my time as a student of the Magical Arts:

1 When the life is almost sucked out of you by Dementors, Chocolate is the cure but if I eat chocolate, I will become demented and life will suck. 

2. Butterbeer can be made without butter and without sugar. Try my recipe, which is amazingly as good (if not better) than the official Butterbeer served in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

3. Thinking you can have a cheat day is like insulting a Hippogryff: to do either will knock you on your ass so hard you may never get up.

4. Friends can save your life and help you keep your head on straight: ask Nearly Headless Nick.

5. In the magical world in which I live, Chocolate is not a cure for anything. I only think it makes me feel better. My thinking is not accurate when under the influence of sugar and milk fat.


When I stay up too late and I am very tired but cannot sleep, I find myself wanting to eat. When I am tired my ability to reason easily falls prey to the addictive nature of my disease. I know this and I have learned to protect myself as much as possible from those situations. 

Tonight I will be walking into a movie theater - -a place where they try very hard to entice you to buy their hot buttered popcorn,  bags and boxes of chocolaty, crunchy, sweet and salty snacks along with beverages of all types - at precisely my bedtime. I will then be staying up an additional three hours to see a movie and then drive myself and my daughter back home, passing all the all-night breakfast locations such as Denny's, IHOP, Waffle House and Dunkin' Donuts. 

I need a plan of action for this evening. I know I have to have a plan because at 11PM, when I pass the popcorn counter, I am going to be at my weakest moment of the day. Tired and anxious to stay up without eating things I should not. I know chewing mint gum helps me not notice the buttery popcorn smell so I think a sugar free mint gum is my first line of defense. Maybe I should bring Friday's breakfast and eat it before I leave for home? I know I will sleep through breakfast in the morning so that could be a smart move. 

Today I will plan to eat dinner late, around 8:00PM. Then I will walk for an hour and shower before leaving for the theater. I will have 'breakfast' at around 2:00AM.  When I fall into bed around 4:00AM I will be able to get about seven hours of sleep and wake up close to lunch time. No worries. It is good to have a plan.

I will enjoy this final HP movie and I hope you do, too. Remember to bring your wand to the theater. When the final credit rolls off the screen raise your want, tap it towards the screen and say "Mischief managed." 



E. Jane said...

Hi Jane,

I love it that you are so full of life and have so many interests. I hope you enjoy the HP movie. You are indeed a loyal fan. I also want to say that you have an excellent plan for dealing with temptation and hunger during your very late night movie. I know it will work for you, because you WANT it to work. I think it's only when we deep down really want to indulge ourselves that we fall off the wagon. Enjoy!!!

Diane Fit to the Finish said...

You are so well-rounded in what you enjoy doing. I admire that very much. My oldest daughter is going to see Harry Potter, but the rest of us haven't seen the movies!

Cenandra said...

You really know your triggers and really look up to you on how well you can control yourself. I am not there yet, but one day hope to be.

Enjoy your movie!

Jane Cartelli said...

Mischief Managed!


Anonymous said...

I just love this dementor-chocolate-thing!!! Do you know who is copyright holder? I'd really want to print postcards of this. Just so true!

Hope you can help me.