Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Number-That-Cannot-Be-Named

There is a time to wait, a time to weigh in and a time to weigh.

I want to weigh this week but I have made a commitment to my mentor that I wait until the first of each month. This is my time to wait. I grumble, but I accept that I made the commitment to do this for a couple of months and I have another 9 days to go. Grumble, grumble . . .

Today, I am thinking about a different kind of time. When will it be time to weigh the amount I consider is IT? The big IT. IT: the magical number, the single stop on the scale where the Alleluia chorus begins to play, choirs of angels sing and I hear God whisper (as he looks at the number from over my shoulder) "It is Good."

Okay, I really don't think the Supreme Being will be standing over my shoulder when I get on the scale. After all, the Scale is God, right? Okay, that is not right either. Let's just say I am picturing some kind of fanfare when the mystical Number-That-Cannot-Be-Named is reached. For a long time I have sought to determine the Number-That-Cannot-Be-Named. I danced and sang as I hit every new, lower numeric marker on the bathroom scale but the elusive final number has not appeared, even in my mind. My cutesy name for this final number is simply because I do not know what that number should be. 

My genes are peasant stock: there is nothing 'fine' about my bones and there is not a single, naturally slim woman in my extended family. I have redundant skin around my arms, legs, hips, backside and abdomen from losing over 200 pounds. (yeah, someday soon I will treat you to photos).

Tomorrow I will share with you what I have discovered about myself and give a name to the final number I will be reaching for on the scale. 

Jane~

5 comments:

Jill said...

I just wanted to tell you how much I respect how you honor your commitment! Not getting on the scale when you really want to is really tough! You are a strong, inspiring person to me! Thank you. I too made a commitment not to get on the scale. My day to weigh is 1 week from tomorrow. I suppose I am in the wait phase with you! WE CAN DO THIS!!

Munchberry said...

The holy grail? The Ark of the Covenant? Atlantis?

The suspense! BLAST!

Ditto that Jill!

Princess Dieter said...

Hah. This is such a cool post.

I used to think I couldn't be happy until I got to that magic 123 lbs that books in my teens told me I SHOULD weigh.

At 184, I'm having a ball. I set a goal of 160, and while I still want to hit that, I realize I could be happier BigGER, way bigger, than the 123 magic number or even the 150 wedding number or the 160 goal number.

I think the obssession with A NUMBER has passed, and I'm gauging how I feel/look and what's JUST FINE as opposed to book-perfect.

Interested to see what you post next.

Diane Fit to the Finish said...

I think you are such a humorous person, with a lot of wisdom! Can't wait to pop in tomorrow and see what you have to say!

Jane Cartelli said...

Jill - We can and we will! See you on September 1st!

Munchie- it is written and will post in the morning. :-)

Princess D - I have avoided having a final (realistic) number for 2 years now. For me, it has become the elephant in my head. Now I have it, I am not afraid of it and I can make positive actions toward it one day at a time.

Diane - If I did not have my humor I would be one nasty witch. God has given me a great appreciation for the funny bone. (not to be confused with my appreciation for Drakes Funny Bones snack cakes. . . .
And Diane: Happy Birthday!

Jane~