Thursday, September 8, 2011

I am not living my life without cheesecake

In my life I have had cheesecake. Frequently.

It is heaven. Occasionally it was just delicious. Once it was terrible and I did not take a second bite. Mostly it was incredible. I enjoyed savoring the texture and taste with wild abandon. I have had cheesecake in my life. That I do not have it today does not mean I am "living my life without cheesecake. Or living a life without cannoli, brownies, ice cream or any other food that contains ingredients my body can no longer accept with sanity.

I have not lived my life without. In my eating history, I have surpassed the fair amount a person should have in one lifetime. The day came when I choose to leave the remaining cheesecake in the world for other people. I have many fond memories of cheesecake and foods I once considered divine. Now I try  to gather new memories of people, places and things without feasting myself sick on food. 

Are you living your life with cheesecake? It is helping you reach your goals? Is it giving you the peace you crave in your life? If not, do you honestly believe it is not worth living a life without another taste?

If you cannot imagine your life without knowing that you can have cheesecake please go ahead and enjoy it. Eat a bite or a slice. Or several slices. Or the whole cheesecake. Stuffed? Not going to have anymore? Putting it away for another day? What? Ate the rest after everyone went to bed? Never going to eat cheesecake again? Opps, forgot you were going to dinner tonight at the Cheesecake Factory? Couldn't not have a slice plus a bite of your daughter's cheesecake? And a bite of your husband's?  . . . . Does any of this sound familiar? Is that what you want in your life?

What if instead of concentrating on the next bite of cheesecake you concentrated on playing footsie under the table with your husband? What if instead of concentrating on the dessert menu you were concentrating on the story your child is trying to get you to really hear with your full attention. What about a life where you do not have the stuff but you are stuffed with so much joy and love you do not even miss cheesecake or any other 'comfort foods'. I want to be so full of joy and love that I have no room for hurtful foods. This is the life I want today. It is a life worth living.

Has any cheesecake ever tasted as good as happiness feels? What would make your life so worth living that you would gladly give up your dream foods?



Wishful Shrinking said...

I love this post. I was just talking to someone today about when someone says that a dessert is "to die for". We in program know that people are die for sugar every day and that a cheese cake or brownie or cookie is not worth dying for.

Julie said...

Oh Jane I loved this - you have articulated and clearly understand exactly what I feel. It is hard for some (dare I say most?) people to believe my life truely is MORE without certain food than it ever was WITH it. I went to bed last night, and many before that, relaxed, comfortable and peaceful. I slept well never waking once. Indigestion, self-loathing, fervent plans of what I would not eat today were nowhere near my thoughts. I actually drifted off thinking about clothes I plan to buy for our upcoming holiday in Fiji!!! Some days the miracle that is my life today is almost too much to take in - it seems so far removed from life a few short years ago. I know this contentment can continue for as long as I stick to the plan that works for ME. I would never prescribe for anyone else but know what I need. This is not to suggest I never feel down, things are always perfect in my family - oh they are so not sometimes!!!! But I do not make matters worse by allowing food to rule my life anymore. When I am not planning a binge, hiding evidence of one or recovering from one (oh the `stomach bugs' I suffered from when in fact I was sick from binging!) I can focus on dealing with problems constructively, being creative or just having fun. Also love the image of having already eaten my lifetime worth of certain food - amen to that :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Jane,

I LOVE this post!! I have loved LOTS of cheesecake in my lifetime too!! It's my favorite of all desserts, especially when made by ME!!

I need to remember that certain foods lead me feeling absolutely miserable, and "with no end in sight" to the binges. I NEED to stay away from the thought (dream) that food will make me happy, because it does NOT!!

The idea that we need to trade our (false) pleasure of food to finding pleasure and fun in other things is SO important. I have been so focused on my food issues that all of the FUN things in my life are passing me by because I am still in denial about being a food addict. How fair is that to my family and, more importantly, ME?!

Mine is also a life worth living and ENJOYing, and I CAN do this!

Your encouraging posts are helping me so much!!!

Thank you!!!

Heather ~~~~ :O)

RedPanda said...

What a great post - I love it!

RedPanda said...

And yeah - I'm another who can relate to having already eaten my lifetime's worth of certain foods.

Life Coach Gerri Helms, CSC said...

you know, there is a lifetime allotment of cheesecake. I ate mine up by age 43. I'm now 18 years without cheesecake and that extra 100 lbs on my body that came with too much of that stuff.

The fun in my life without the excess weight far surpasses the momentary 'ahhh' of the first bite of cheesecake. when I was polishing off the whole thing, it was no longer about the taste.

Jane Cartelli said...

I am grateful to know that I will never be alone in this journey. Some of us refrain from cheesecake and some refrain from meat. Some have abused sugar and some have had gluttony not in certain foods but in everything , like me.

Thank you all for sharing your experiences.