Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Beautiful, Healing Tears

Flying home from Medellin, Columbia last week, I had the blessing to be sitting with two wonderful women while also surrounded on the plane by 12 other friends who share this journey of recovery from food addiction. I joked if the plane went down it would not be from an overweight issue - the 15 of us were all doing our part in keeping the pounds off.

On this flight I had a life-changing moment that I want to share with you. Somewhere over the Gulf of Mexico one of my seat-mates started showing us the photos she took while we were in the Plaza de Botero in Medellin. There was a photo of me standing with two of other friends. Both of the other women in the photo are tall, around 5 foot 9 inches. I am a short 5 foot 4 inches. Both of the other women in the photo have their height in proportion with their weight. I always see myself as short and fat next to these lovely ladies. 

I looked at the photo and handed the iPhone back to its owner but then I took a double take and asked to see it again and this time I stared at it for several minutes. In the photo there are three lovely ladies. I am standing next to my two friends. The third lady is me. Oh my God, I look friggin' normal. I am not a stocky, lumpy lady. I can look normal. I broke down and cried real, rolling down the face, sobbing, salty tears. One of my seat mates held me, the other stroked my arm. They understood, almost without me even needing to explain. Together they told me that I look normal in the photo because I am normal. They told me to cry and let go of the pain and be healed. They have both experienced physical recovery and understood exactly what I was feeling - the whole spectrum of feelings from that moment was shared without words, through beautiful, healing tears. 

God is so good. Not only was I seated with two women who are in recovery from food addiction - these two beautiful ladies also spiritually gave of themselves to help me really feel healing at that special moment. Even more, I was on a plane with other people who are in all phases of obesity recovery who could also be called upon to give a hug or share a tear at any time. Essentially, I was in a protective cocoon and emerged from the plane with a different outlook then I did when I got on the plane. 

This is just one of the two amazing, life changing moments I had in Medellin. If you didn't read yesterday's post, please check out Hot, Hot, Hot Salsa to learn the other life-changing gift I received from my visit to Colombia. 



downsizers said...

Thank you for sharing that. Only someone who has been through what you have been through and accomplished what you have accomplished can understand the depth of emotion that goes along with the new life that comes with the effort it has taken to get to where you are. Now you can really experience and enjoy so many things that were impossible before. Keep on inspiring. You have so much credibility because you have done it - really, really done it. There are so many hurting, scared people who blog about weight/eating issues. I read your comments and can tell how sensitive you are to what they are going through. You are helping so many people and you don't even know how many but you are making a difference in the lives of others.

Princess Dieter aka Mir said...

Your journey was hard and your achievement is no small thing. Our brains and emotions, as you so well know, my sister in this fight, take time to adjust to reality.

I'm still overweight. BUT...I feel normal. I go out and feel..normal. It's an amazing thing. I still see my reflection in shop windows and am wonderfully startled at times. It's not big, round me. It's normalish me. It feels amazing.

And I happy dance for you!!!

Note: What I learned to do to retrain my brain was take a lot of pics and look at them from the feet up on the computer, without looking at the head. For some reason, I was hypercritical if I saw my face. If I just looked at my body, I could make a judgement more calmly.

I find we tend to just not see ourselves clearly--whether it was me thinking I looked less fat when i was enormous, or me thinking I was bigger than I was as passed big loss points.

I recommend this for lots of folks. take pics, crop out the head..and just look and see what the real person there is like, sans self-loathing or criticism. It aligns the brain, I find. :D

Happy day, babe. NORMAL babe. :D

Rebecca said...

Jane, I just read this and the salsa post, and what amazing, heart smiling stories these are. I'm so happy for you, as you discover all the things your new body can do. Just amazing!

Cenandra said...

What a wonderful thing to experience isn't it?! The day I started excepting myself and loving who I am today was the day of healing.

You look marvelous in that picture and you should be very proud of where you are today Jane.