Friday, November 25, 2011

Five Years Ago Today

On Saturday, November 25, 2006, I got up early and drove myself to a place where people were meeting to talk about their recovery from obesity and other common food issues. They followed a spiritual approach. I had already lost over 100 pounds without 'their' program. I didn't want to belong to a  'fellowship', I just wanted a way to get through the holiday season without gaining any of the weight I had already lost. I just wanted to not gain weight between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day. I knew I could gain 30 pounds very easily. I had done it the year before. But on 11/25/06 I walked into a meeting room expecting that I would come and talk with these people for a few weeks, just until the New Year started and the holiday food disappeared. 

Today, five years later, I have not only kept off that original 110 pounds but an additional 110+ pounds has come off and stayed off. I never expected to still be coming back five years after I first walked into that room. There are a few more things I never expected from that meeting:

  • I did not expect to change my outlook on life and love and family and me
  • I did not expect that five years later my closest and dearest friends would be people I met in that meeting and similar meetings in other places. 
  • I never expected I would be happy to still be coming back five years later. 
  • I never expected my relationships with my husband and children, co-workers, siblings and friends would be improved because of the principals I have learned while traveling this path. 
  • I never expected I would find a best friend in the rooms, someone who would know my darkest secrets and love me all the more. 
  • I never expected to be free from a daily obsession with foods that previously called to me constantly
  • I never expected to get through a holiday minus 'certain must-haves,'  - without white-knuckling it. 
  • I did not expect that people who had this stuff down pat before I ever came into a meeting would ever look to me for help
  • I never thought I would  receive some of my greatest strength from people whom I, in turn, mentor in this program.
  • I never expected to be traveling in service to this life, including going to Colombia and learning about myself even as I sought to learn about others
  • I never expected that is would be okay not to be perfect. I learned that perfect does not exist in God's plan for me and that is okay, because God's plan for me is perfect of itself - no matter how pissed I sometimes get. 
  • I never expected to find a completely different God of my understanding, one who loves me more than I love food
  • I never expected that 5 years later I would feel I knew less than I did when I started and know that this is exactly the way I should be today.
  • I never expected to be so darn happy and still not be where I 'expected' I would be five years later. 
Five years ago, after 10 minutes in that room, I knew my only chance of getting help from this program was to make a commitment to keep coming back - no matter what.

I have kept that commitment (and the pounds off) ever since - one day at a time.

Jane~



5 comments:

downsizers said...

God is good (all the time).

Karen said...

Congrats on your anniversary and thank you for your blog.

affectionforfitness said...

What a thoughtful post about expectations and realities--and how they aren't the same.

I personally know this to be true, and yet, I still fight trying things I know would be good for me.

:-) Marion

Anonymous said...

May I ask what group u went to?

Jane Cartelli said...

Anonymous -
I do not post which group in public media but I will be happy to respond privately if you or anyone else would like to email me at janecartelli@yahoo.com.

Jane~