Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Mother Question

Scientists have a new, highly effective treatment for women suffering from depression. It is a patch. All you need do is remove the backing from the adhesive side and place the patch firmly over your mother's mouth. - Tina Fey on SNL Weekend Update skit

It figures I am wearing a shirt which reads
I am a dangerous person
I love my daughters more than pixie dust (the stars in my eyes, the breath in my body and the passion in my soul). Both my girls are overweight. I see they both love and accept their bodies even at their larger sizes in ways I do not understand because at my larger size I never accepted my body as beautiful - never. I still struggle with me today more than I like to think about it. 

Knowing the pain of obesity and not wanting my girls to spend decades with that feeling, I keep after my darling daughters about their weight and in doing so, I am the one who causes feelings of pain and rejection because my comments equal not accepting them as they are today. 

I am tied of meaning well and causing tears. How does a mother see her adult children physically suffering and NOT say anything that will cause them more anguish. 

Does anyone have an answer for that, except for the Patch


Diane's Experience with Moderation

Never discount the experience of someone who is keeping their pounds off year after year after year. I know several people who have kept it off for 7, 9, 13, 18+ years. I really try to listen to what they say because they have cracked their own codes and are doing what we all want to be doing: keeping the pounds off. 

Diane over at fit to the finish always has great experience to share with us. The other day she commented on my moderation post. She wrote: 
Moderation has been good for me, BUT it took a long, long time to work. I found that I really needed to eliminate foods for quite some time.
Diane has been keeping her pounds off for over thirteen years. I found her comment very inspiring and educational and I want to make sure I share it with all of you here. Let me highlight her points:

Moderation is working for her today. 
It took a long, long time to work. 
She needed to eliminate foods for quite some time. 
Her experience is an on going process

 "A long time" is not two weeks or three months or even one year. It is several, many, numerous years. Just as SLOW AND STEADY wins the race, Diane achieved a level of moderation after she had a long successful maintenance. I appreciate the history she has developed on this process and I keep an open mind because I do not know what I will be like after keeping the pounds off for thirteen years. I only know that today I am still not in that place. Someday I might find moderation does work for me - but not today and not overnight. 

Keep those eyes facing forward! 
The goal is not how fast (or if) we can be successful at moderate eating. The goal is keeping the  pounds off in a sane and healthy manner. I did not lose 220 pounds in a year. It took several years and weight loss is still happening. In the scheme of things I have just started scratching the topsoil in the land of maintenance. I thank Diane for sharing her experience and I am listening.