Hate Loss Challenge Week 4 - Final Week

In this, the final week of the Hate-Loss Challenge, we were given two options: Pay it Forward or Put Yourself First.

Pay it Forward – For the past 5+ years I have tried to make this a daily activity in my life of keeping the pounds off. It is by helping others that I keep my own equilibrium and a bright perspective for the future. When I am isolated (forced or by my own design) I feel my balance and good cheer recede equal to my length of isolation. But just reaching out to one person with a cheerful word or a giving action gives me back so much. I often tell people whom I mentor that if they are feeling badly toward themselves or the world it is time to get out of themselves and do something for the world around them. It never fails to bring back their hope and esteem.

The exercise for this task is to Show a stranger a random act of kindness and then write about it. Hmm, this is a bit of a sticky wicket. I practice a tradition that I was shared with me many years ago. “Just for today I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anyone knows of it, it will not count.”

I am not going to talk about what I did today but I am going to share that my self-esteem can be down in the toilet but when I do a random act of kindness such as help someone down the stairs, lift a package, make a call to a shut-in, pick up a newspaper and drop it closer to a neighbor’s front door, buy someone a cup of coffee while at a hospital cafeteria and write a letter to a former neighbor or teacher and thank them for something I remember from that past that they have probably forgotten. One year I kept updating a Thankful list and every week of Lent I wrote letters thanking someone I had never met for various things such as how their talent inspired me, how their invention helped someone I know and how their service to our country is appreciated. I can feel better anytime I want for just the cost of a stamp. 

Ellen’s suggested quote of the week for Option 1:

No kindness, however small, is ever wasted 

~ Aesop

Option two – Put yourself first – At first, this option seems selfish and easy to do. As Ellen says in this option ‘we convince ourselves that we’re unworthy. It is imperative that you take care of yourself and your own needs, not only for your emotional health but for your physical health as well.’ 

Okay, I want to be well, whole, healthy. I’m game. I just need to get over the feeling that I am being indulgent with myself. Why? Because there is such a thing as being too indulgent. I want to be good to myself for the good of my physical, emotional and spiritual well-being but not o overboard. In other words: I want to get something good out of this, not just feel happy that I got a facial (facial is just an example). I do not want the post-blues feelings that can go with it, ie: I shouldn’t have spent the money, my face is breaking out, I could have done something else. . . .

Yes, I may be over thinking this a bit (or a lot) but I know myself and I do want a pleasant ending to this challenge without feeling I am just doing something I do for myself anyway. I get the occasional pedicure when I want to feel good. I read for pleasure and relaxation at will. I don’t do bubbles. I do not have to leave my house for a massage. I have my own table and my husband has very capable hands. 

So – something that I wouldn’t normally consider, that I can do now and answer the questions in time for Thursday – hmm. Enter the Muppets. 

I decided to order myself something fun and unnecessary (but without breaking my bank). I went on-line and bought myself three bottles of glittery nail poish from OPIs Muppet Line. My daughters and I used the OPI Muppet colors for our Christmas pedicures. Now, instead of hoping the nail salon will have the colors I want when I get there, I have my own bottles for them to apply to my toes. The colors I purchased are Fresh Frog of Bel-air, Divine Swine and Gone Gonzo. How did I feel afterwards? I felt confident and supremely happy that I was taking care of creating a future happy moment by getting the nail colors I wanted today. I do not tend to buy my own nail colors. This is a new idea for me. Normally I hope that the color I want will be in the next time I am there. This will be a nice change.

Ellen's suggested Quote of the week for Option 2:

Be the change you want to see in the world.
~Ghandi

Daily affirmations update:I have decided to keep saying the affirmations for the whole month of February. When I memorize them and have them in my head, in my heart, and in my actions, I will know I can stop.

Thank you for reading along on this challenge. If you were a part of it I thank you for your sharing and experience each week. If you have simply been reading along I thank you for your time and ask that you come back and read some more and perhaps comment.

To Ellen, who planned this challenge with a peacock logo (which is what drew me in) I thank you for your support, wisdom and humor throughout this four week challenge. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with all of us.

Hugs to everyone, Hope you will all be back soon

Jane~