Thursday, January 19, 2012

Hate Loss Challenge Week Three

Here are some highlights of what was given to us for this week's Hate Loss Challenge. Bless Ellen of for her talent of getting us to soar and then making us think that we are the ones who invented flight. It is wonderful to be challenged by someone who is so nurturing. 

Fear is such a driving force. It can paralyze you. How many times have you regretted not doing something because of your fear? 

When we don’t challenge ourselves, we end up creating unconscious habits that end up running our lives; they chip away at our self-esteem. But, once we’ve stepped beyond our comfort zone, our world will never return to it’s original size – we will always be more than who we were before with one less fear to hold us hostage.

According to Dr. Robert Sherfield, author of the book Everything Self-Esteem: Healthy self-esteem is built on overcoming obstacles and moving beyond what is accepted or ordinary. It is built on overcoming your fears, insecurities, worries, and your own self-imposed limitations. In other words, we need to move beyond our world where everything feels safe, secure and comfortable; by motivating ourselves to step beyond what is snug and cozy, we get so much in return:

  • Accomplishment
  • Pride
  • Achievement
  • Power
This week’s exercise: Between now and group therapy on Thursday, think about an activity that would challenge your comfort zone; then, confront that fear and do it. This is your challenge, so be as daring or as conservative as you want – but stretch yourself beyond what you think you can do. 

At first, second and third glance, I thought this week's exercise was going going to need more time than allotted. Then, when I sat down to really delve in, I realized it was basically what I did last year on my Counting Down to Fifty Blog. I spent the 365 days between during 49 and 50 challenging myself to do 100 'goals.' Many of those goals were simply exercises in stepping out of my comfort zone. They included
  • riding a bike for the first time in 32 years
  • swimming naked in the ocean
  • joining Toastmasters and 
  • public speaking
  • cut my hair ultra short
  • ride in a balloon
  • spend a day in a water park by myself, and walk around in my bathing suit, loose skin exposed 
  • spend a day by myself in a theme park, talking to strangers
  • appeared in a magazine
For various reasons (some financial, some apathy and some fear), I did not complete all 100 goals. I finished about 80%.  I gave myself some extra time to complete the goals still worth doing. (and I need to go back and give that blog a final update in the next two weeks so I can take it down).

I realized I could take something from the list of incomplete goals and use that for this week's challenge. I looked through the list and I found a couple that remain undone because they are outside my comfort zone.  On day 365 I wrote that I decided against goal # 67 as too daunting. Ah, there is something I can wrap my arms around as outside my comfort zone. 

Goal 67 is Update my website so that my business can have a fresh new look and attract more clients from their first visit.

I manage the upkeep of my business website with a wing and a prayer and have for 15 years. It is time to get out of that uncomfortable/comfort zone. One person built the web pages in 1998. Another person re-did them in 2001 and a very kind gentleman made it healthier about 4 years ago.  I have been limping along on my own since. The program I use to maintain it is 10 years old (Dreamweaver 4) and the company that supported the product no longer does. I can make text changes but I do not know how to do anything else. I do not speak html or anything else cyber. I have remained locked in time and unwilling to stretch myself enough to be uncomfortable and accept help in giving it a fresh, uncluttered look. 


My fear: That the people who offer to help me do not understand how to make the very important questionnaire page continue to function in a new format. All my clients come through that questionnaire and it is the heart of how I develop their events. I need someone who understands PC, MAC and UNIX enough to make this work AND who can explain the new formatting enough to me that I can do my weekly changes without needing an advanced degree in computer science. Oh, and I do not have the money to hire a professional or buy hundreds of dollars in website writing programs.

I am not crazy enough to think I have the patience or desire to learn how to build my own website. I have to ask for help. That exposure is where the fear comes into play - asking for help and being open to the possibility of rejection and possible failure. Today I start. As of now I will be chatting with everyone from Internet friends to friends of acquaintances on Facebook  and I will bring myself to ask for help and be open to the possibilities. 

Quotes than Ellen gave us this week:
Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone.
~ Robert Allen 
We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are.
~ Max DePree 
Nobody ever died of discomfort, yet living in the name of comfort has killed more ideas, more opportunities, more actions, and more growth than everything else combined.
~ T. Harv Eker


Unknown said...

Wow, Jane. You have taken your comfort zone challenge to a whole other level. You're basically giving your baby over for someone else to nurture. I completely get how that would challenge as well as bring anxiety along for the ride. I am going through something similar myself right now (I keep procrastinating because I'm afraid of failing) but you've given me a new reason to proceed with this dream of mine. This is what I love about these challenges - so many truly, powerful, intelligent women who are at the edge of greatness. It's inspirational. Good luck to you, Jane. You've already got that momentum going - run with it!!

Anonymous said...

Jane, you might want to bite the fear bullet and rebuild your website WINDOWS or whatever other operating system you are currently comfortable with instead of spaghettifying your programming especially if you do not know what you are doing. Unless you do. That way you qwill be in charge and feeling good and can change up things as you want without the hassels.

Otherwise there is a dreamweaver bible. Want to build some self esteem? Get that book and dig in. But do it in test before you make permachanges.

You are smart. You are practical. Those two things I know. You can do it.

Good idea for your challenge.