Thursday, March 1, 2012

Suicide on the Installment Plan

 Obesity is committing suicide on the installment plan. It takes longer but it's legal.

I was reading blogs with Google Reader, catching up with everyone when I saw the name of a blog I have not visited in a while. I could not remember why I stopped reading it. I hadn't removed it from the line up - but neither was it on my blog roll list. Hmmm. I clicked on it. Oh I know this blog. It is someone who was struggling to loose weight and she took a break a few months ago . . . I am glad she is back. I wonder how she is doing. 

Is this what people
think when they post?
What is this she is doing? Oh, she is posting recipes and sharing her love of food while still trying to loose weight. Okay, people do that. It is not my cup of tea but to each their own blog. Oh gee, photos and recipes. Those can be a window into  the status of your life. What is she doing with - what? Seriously? The healthiest photo  (yes, you can read that with sarcasm) is asparagus completely wrapped in bacon. Four pieces of asparagus on the dinner plate, wrapped in four pieces of bacon, plus a portion of additional meat and starch, which could have been mashed potato or mashed sweet potato, I didn't stick around long enough to memorize the plate. 

Not my bacon
Now I admit everything tastes better with bacon. but covering the vegetable completely? I can see bundling all the asparagus in one thin strip of bacon (I know people in Louisiana who do that with green beans). But enveloping a single spear in a full slice of bacon is beyond me. How can you be  'trying to loose weight' with bacon wrapped around every piece of asparagus? I know it can be hard to learn to love your veggies but so much bacon to cover 4 pitiful pieces of green stalks scares me. The blog's followers, with names like helpmeloseweight and pleasestopmefromkillingmyselfwithfood, (yes, those are fictitious for this story-I am not here to blast anyone), write in their comments that they were going to try that recipe. Sadly, that part is not fictitious. I am scared for them. 

Perhaps that is why I stopped reading that blog? 

I don't want this to be
your epitaph
People can write whatever they want on their space. I don't have to look or read it. If there is nothing there positive for me to learn or if the blog is not a place where I am comfortable sharing my experience honestly, without enabling, why would I stay? Keeping the pounds off me would have never happened if I had remained wrapped in an enabling, suffocating world of fat acceptance and food entitlement. I don't have to be a part of the Love-me-love-my-food gang or assist in anybody's suicide on the installment plan. I cant be a part of it. It does not keep me well. 

To each their own blog. To each their own reading.



Caron said...

Great post. I have stopped following blogs when I saw that they did not have a clue about eating right and were advocating seriously messed up recipes and counting washing dishes as exercise.

I do not want to confront anyone and tell them they are doing it all wrong and I also do not want to condone their bad behavior. The best thing for me is to not look. Sigh.

E. Jane said...

I also can't frequent blogs with recipes made up of sugar, chocolate, and four slices of bacon! I don't blast the blogger, but I just don't go back. Like you said, to each their own. Food porn is not helpful to me!

downsizers said...

I am trying NOT to focus on food. Pictures, recipes, etc., do not interest me. I want insight and things learned from experience - something I can identify with and learn from. Immature weight loss bloggers who try to make overeating sound like fun and the comments that enable them are just not on my list of blogs to follow.

Over 40? - So What! said...

I've stopped reading many blogs for the same reason. I'm a great advocate of 'going cold turkey', but I understand that not everyone can do that. However, bacon is such a foreign object that I can't relate to anyone that thinks that is okay - or worse yet - the road to good health.

Vickie said...

the sad part is when you see them cycle through this for years and years and years and years. I have blogs I check back in a couple times a year and posts are verbatim what they wrote all the previous years. No growth, no learning, no process. It is very painful to see. And the enabling and the codependency is the worst part of all. people do no understand how much they reinforce these sabotage behaviors.

The Paris Chronicles said...

I do what Vickie, above, does, i.e., check back on blogs to see if the blogger ever gains any sense. It actually has a name: "Hate Reads" and I really shouldn't use my time that way. I've narrowed down my blog reading (in the weight-centric sphere) to blogs which show successful, sense-filled strategies to lose and maintain weight--it's just a healthier use of my reading time. But once in awhile I'll "sneak" over to some of those amazingly silly blogs out there. Oh my. You can really tell who is going to succeed in this and who is destined to do it over and over and over again, can't you?

40 Minus 100 said...

I have only been on my most recent weight loss journey (and public blog about it) for 1 week now, but as I've looked for other weight loss blogs I've seen SO MANY PICS OF BIG JUICY COLORFUL FOOD!! Like post after post after post! Ugh. To be honest, it's been hard for me. I decided to only post food pics rarely. (oh and I love that quote at the beginning. Wow.)

that TOPS lady said...

I don't know the blogger, so my comment is just in general:

I have weight loss blogged for years and I'm sure at times my posts were insane. But at those times, I was nutritionally illiterate. Also, at those times, my strong hold to food addiction had not been broken. I'm sure I could have posted the same kind of post. I was a mess. (I still don't have it all figured out)

>>>>>>>>>>BUT>>>>>>>>>> the fact that I was blogging showed that I still cared about the fact that I was overweight. I still wanted out. I still had hope. I was still trying.

Sometimes it takes a while---even a very long while--- to "get it".

I guess I have a raw spot on my heart for people pointing out bloggers and critiquing (sp?) them because during my "foolish years", a blogger who likes to make fun of people picked me to make fun of on his blog. It hurt me so deeply. I felt like the whole world was laughing.

I know there is hope for such people. I've lost 54 pounds. I've learned a thing or 2. But those terribly immature posts are part of my journey.

I guess to those bloggers, I think silence is the best thing to say.

Jane Cartelli said...

Minus 40 - Me too. When I do post food photos I try to remember to put a warning at the top of the post for those who do not want to see food photos.

Paris C - I have been surprised sometimes by people who thought they would never get it - who have gotten it. There is always hope. I just cannot watch every single train wreck until they get off the tracks.

Vickie - Painful, yes. It also reminds me I am just a couple of bites away from joining that club. Helps keep me focused on today.

Tops Lady - That's why I am careful not give hints to the blooger. I do not want to shame or ridicule any individual - but I do want to point out the insanity of the behaviors here - where people are trying to learn the difference. One person asked me privately which blog I was referring to and I did not say because it is not about that person - it is about the behaviors and we have all had insane food behaviors or we wouldn't be actively loosing, maintaining or - God forbid- gaining our weight back.

Anonymous said...

This post speaks to me!! I might steal that pic of the epitaph for an upcoming post. :)

Jane Cartelli said...

Miss April - It is nice to share. I borrowed it myself.