Thursday, May 24, 2012

A Family Loss

At 5:55am on Wednesday I received a call from my brother telling me our sweet cousin Alexander, age 39 had died suddenly and unexpectedly a few hours earlier.

Alex had heart valve problems from a young age and four open heart procedures, his latest was this past  March. He was recovering from this forth open heart procedure and had just gone back to work recently. He owned and operated a fabulous pizza restaurant with his sister in the tradition of their belated father.  Alex leaves a loving wife and two sons who will be good men because of their father's love - he was not afraid to show it. He leaves a sister who adored him and two brothers who love him dearly. I do not know how any mother copes with such a loss and my heart goes out to my cousin Theresa, who is his mom. 

I cannot tell you how much it means to me that I had the chance to share a day with Alex on my trip up north three weeks ago. It was a day with his whole family together (siblings, spouses, children) and I will cherish it forever. It takes some of the pain away from the sorrow I feel in not being able to travel to New Jersey for the funeral Saturday. 

I am taking a few days off from blogging and will be back on Monday. I cannot travel to join the rest of the family up north this weekend due to work but I want to spend any down time I have reflecting on how precious family is-whether they are 1200 miles away or sitting next to me.

One thing I know for sure is that there is nothing I can eat to take away the pain of any loss. If I get lost in the fog of excess food the pain will not be diminished. I have good people reminding me to feel the feelings and not numb them with food. Numbing with food only means I get to feel the pain over again when I come out of a food coma. I will not numb the feelings no matter how uncomfortable or unfamiliar they seem.

I will feel them and deal with them and remember that life goes on on life's terms, not mine.

Call your siblings, hug your great-aunt, kiss a friend and take time to say I love you to your loved ones every chance you get. Start this minute.

Love to you all,
Jane~

11 comments:

Melanie said...

Jane, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I'm so glad you were able to spend precious time with Alex recently.

Melanie

yesterdaysexcess.com said...

Jane,
What a hard loss. I am so sorry. What a gift to had had that time together. Your whole family are in my thoughts and prayers!

E. Jane said...

I am so sorry, Jane, for your loss. Blessings to you and the entire family. I am thinking of you all. Sudden, untimely deaths are so hard, so you are doing a good thing to take this time for reflection. So sorry for your loss.

that TOPS lady said...

I'm so sorry (((Hugs)))

Fatoutofskinny said...

Condolences Jane. Thoughts and prayers with you and your family.

Kelliann said...

Oh Jane, I am so sorry for your loss. Prayers to you and your family.

Mary Ellen Quigley said...

I'm am so sorry for your loss. I am glad you got to spend some time with him before he passed.

Vickie said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I can tell it is a big one. It is hard to lose someone that young with a young family. My heart goes out to all of you.

Munchberry said...

I am keeping you and your family in my prayers. So glad you got back to spend time with him and your family.

bbubblyb said...

So sorry for your lose Jane, hope you are doing ok today. *hugs*

KCLAnderson (Karen) said...

I am so very sorry Jane...you and your family are in my thoughts. Big hugs!