Friday, March 29, 2013

Death Trumps Easter Plans

My sister's sister-in-law, a young, multi-talented, lovely woman, went to get something out of her car yesterday morning sometime between 7:30 and 8:30 am. She was found lying in the driveway at 8:30. Life-giving measures were started, EMS came, everything possible was done. Nothing could be done. She was gone. She leaves a husband and two little boys who turn three and six in April. She leaves three grieving brothers, sisters-in-law, many nieces and nephews and her devastated mother and father. The cause is not yet certain but they suspect a sudden heart episode or blood clot.

This happened in New York were we are visiting family for Easter. I am very grateful to be available to help in any way I can with my sister and brother in law's family during this time. Everyone is, of course, still in complete shock. You cannot be prepared for such things. You cannot know how you will react.

I am tired of death. Last year we lost a beloved uncle, a wonderful cousin and my adorable mom. My sister lost all these people and now her favorite in-law; her husband's only sister. This is all in the same 12 month period. It sucks.

No matter what, life goes on, it just travels a path that is different than the one planned. This week was  to be my siblings and I celebrating our first holiday together (we live 1200 miles away) after our mom's death. We are still going forward with our plans for Saturday but of course the conversations will be different. My sister and I are still spending today together with our kids but what we may do will undoubtedly be different than we might have expected.

I still have my meals planned. Whatever I can do to help in this life event, whatever we need to do to change other plans, I cannot plan my food around it and remain steady and aware of my food triggers. I have a plan and I followed it yesterday. I follow it today. Life goes on and I am better able to help others when I help myself first. I accept the things I cannot change. My food plan is something I can rely on/plan/control.

I am grateful I know the difference.



Karen said...

Jane, I'm so sorry to hear of this. Thinking of you and your families today.

I applaud you in keeping your food plan. It's the best kind of self care, IMO.

You are very strong and smart. Onward. Huge difference. Life is painful sometimes. Glad you are with family today. So sad.

WWSuzi said...

I'm keeping your sister in law's family in my prayers. So sad.

Anna W said...

I am feeling really sad for the lady."The show must go on" that's how life is!

Lyn said...

This is just awful. So young and unexpected. I am sorry for your loss and will pray for the family, especially the little boys.