Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Remember When Diamonds were a Girl's Best Friend?

I grew up liking things that sparkle. The female members of my extended family taught me an appreciation for gold and gemstones. (My mother also taught me to love glitter of all kinds). I learned the four "C" s of the diamond code before I was 18: color, cut, carat and clarity. Our diamonds were white. Gold was yellow, white and sometimes pink - known in those days as Russian gold (now as rose gold). My grandmother's wedding set is  rose gold with white diamonds. I love rose gold.

In this frame they are admiring an emerald
I can recite the gem appreciation lesson from the movie Gigi.
Aunt Alicia: "Now Gigi, what is this gem?"
Gigi: "Ah, a topaz?"
Aunt Alicia: "A TOPAZ?? In MY collections of jewels? Never! No, it is a yellow diamond.

That was the first time I heard of a diamond that was not white. The second time was in the movie Wall Street, when Dariann (Darryl Hannah's character) says that her world would be be perfect if she had (among other things) a flawless canary diamond (as in yellow).

No more about diamonds of another color until a year or two ago when I started seeing advertisements featuring brown diamonds, or as they are called by the marketing geniuses Chocolate Diamonds.

I am guessing dull, brown diamonds just weren't selling well. I bet someone in some marketing planning session noted that woman will buy anything associated with the name chocolate. All of a sudden: chocolate diamonds became the big thing.

Well, today I am sitting in a doctor's office, leafing through  Prostate Health & Fashionistas Weekly when I came across this add for a jewelry collection designed with white diamonds and rose gold. Guess what? White diamonds and rose gold have a new name. Can you guess?

If brown diamonds are selling because they are marketed as chocolate diamonds and you want to get people to buy your white diamonds and in rose gold settings, what would you call them?

I am not bullshitting you. The photo of the ad below is lousy but it says these are VANILLA diamonds set in STRAWBERRY gold. Seriously, that is what it says.  

Are the brown diamonds signifying a chocolate swirl. Is this jewelry or a parfait?  

Don't blame the marketing madmen who plan these campaigns. They know their customers well. As a society we already buy fake food simply because someone else calls it food. Why wouldn't we clamor to buy jewelry that is named after favorite foods. What's next? The ice cream sundae wedding ring line? Maybe choose your diamond according to your favorite M&M color?

Oh, and before I forget, yellow gold is now called "HONEY GOLD." 

Do you think they hope you will shop on an empty stomach? Do customers hungry for food buy more chocolate diamonds? Do you want another serving of food reminders when shopping for non edibles?



Unknown said...

I think they are making these candy characterizations for jewelry as a substitute for thin women who normally eat no desserts. In other words, you'll have a skinny 0 calorie treat by wearing these chocolate diamonds.

:-) Marion

RedPanda said...

Whoah! That's just all kinds of wrong! I've noticed that makeup is often named after food - I even have a Clinique eyeshadow trio called "Triple Fudge" - but diamonds? No, just no. IMO, naming diamonds after food is just trashy.

Jane Cartelli said...

RedPanda: I noticed the make up thing, too! My lipsticks from Bare Essentials are all fig, cappucino, mocha, sugar plum!

Marion: I would probably suck on the damn things looking for the sweet part of the 'treat.' I'll still the ones I have (without food associations).