|The record is fine, |
my mind is warped
If my husband wants pizza and calls for delivery but finds out they do not have a delivery person that day, he might think about going to get it but what usually happens is he decides against it and just eats something that is already in the house. He is quite competent in the kitchen and can cook his own meals. He can just let go of the idea of pizza that day without major drama.
As a food addict, if I crave pizza and give in to that urge and make the decision to pick up the phone, I have set the course in motion and I am going to have pizza. If they do not have delivery at that time, I know other places to call. Hell, I will get dressed and go out to get it . One large pizza, extra cheese, please. This is New York style, not pizza-smut or other national brands. A large is LARGE. Still, when I am done, there will not be leftovers; I might throw out a quarter of the crust but every bit of cheese will be gone. I won't be sharing. It won't be pretty. If I am sharing with someone else in the house (damn them for being home when I want to eat pizza!) I also order a calzone and perhaps a hot sandwich so there will be other food to share if I want more. That is an accurate description when this addict gets into her addiction. (Thank God, not today). I have a physical and mental addiction to items with sugar and items rich in fat. plus a few bonus foods to really seal my diagnosis.
|We don't often drink beer. Beer has|
gone bad in our house, just sitting,
waiting for someone to drink it.
I knew a practicing alcoholic who only drank beer. If he wanted a beer and somehow, there is no beer in his house, he went out and got it, no matter what time it was or what else he had to do. His craving is the same as my craving. I just craved a different substance.
My husband is someone who does not crave like an addict. If pizza and ice cream are in the house and available to him, he will eat them. If they are not there, he does not care. A thought to have ice cream tonight does not translate into MUST HAVE ICE CREAM TONIGHT. If I want pizza and decide I am going to have it, I am beyond return and nothing will easily sway me whereas my husband can take it or leave it. I use to claim I could take it or leave 'it', too. I rarely left anything.
Can you take it or leave it - and do you really leave it?