Sunday, May 12, 2013

Dear Mommy

Happy Mother's Day. I miss you.

It is eleven months today that you have been gone. The world continues to be a crazy place and there has been some great sadness since you left but you know all that.

Owls are still popping up everywhere. Even you would have been saying enough of the owl stuff already . . . .  We saw a movie a few weeks ago, The Big Wedding and in the movie one character wears a t-shirt that reads "Owls are Assholes." It kind of made me laugh. But you know all that.

I believe you are well aware of all that happens with all you loved here on earth so I will not rehash what you already know. We are healthy and continue to see changes and growth in our lives for the better. We are still taking it one day at a time. You know all that, too.

I don't know if you are aware of what is in my mind. I am assuming God does not give angels such as yourself insight into our minds (although I could be wrong about that. I could also be wrong about angels, God and Sacred Squirrels - but I chose to ignore that today). I want to let you know that in these past eleven months I have waited for you to come to visit me in a dream - and you haven't.

That makes me sad. It has troubled me a bit more than I like to admit but I have admitted it and recently my darling mentor gave me a poem excerpted from Benedictus (John O'Donohue) . This is the last verse:

Gradually, you will learn acquaintance
With the invisible form of your departed;
And when the work of grief is done,
The wound of loss will heal
And you will have learned
To wean your eyes
From that gap in the air
And be able to enter the hearth
In your soul where your loved one
Has awaited your return
All the time.
I just wanted to let you know I am working toward weaning my eyes from the gap and returning to the place where you have been awaiting my return. I like to think that is true.

I hope to visit with you there soon.

Love always,


The Vegan Gypsy said...

Beautiful mom passed away in 2009 and I still miss her terribly, Ever. Single. Day. I find feathers everywhere, proof to me that she's nearby.

Wishing you peace..

E. Jane said...

I think I put my comment for this post on your previous post by mistake. Anyway, have a Happy Mother's Day!

Jane Cartelli said...

Vegan Gypsy - Hugs to you, too.

E. Jane - No worries. I read them both. You are right, we can blessed to be mothers.

Jane Cartelli said...

E. Jane - I am unable to read your blog again. There is a glitch telling me I am not invited. This happened two weeks ago but it went away the next day. If you see this, can you check to see if I am still on your list?