Saturday, July 13, 2013

Be Ambitious for the Higher Gifts . .

Stagnating my vision for recovery is just as counter-productive as answering to someone else's vision for my recovery. I will be looking for 'something else' without understanding why and I will be perpetually unsatisfied. I need to 'seek the higher gifts.' For this reason I practice being aware of today more than I did before.

My senses are waking up again. I feel like I have been asleep for a year.  This does not mean going out and abusing the things I feel I deprived myself of yesterday. There is more to life that satisfying my various appetites.

Dr Katz writes more about the hazard of reconciling ambition and satisfaction. I wrote a post on it  on June 19thYou can read Dr Katz's article if you want at Fantaspirations and Fallen Arches. 

For me, it made me think of a scripture reading. Reading it again now, I am filled with a new sense of understanding on how this applies to me life beyond my marriage, my children, my family. Being ambitious for the higher gifts is a call to nurture what I can achieve today because today is truly all I have.
1 Corinthians 12:31-13:8
Be ambitious for the higher gifts. And I am going to show you a way that is better than any of them. If I have all the eloquence of men or of angels, but speak without love, I am simply a gong booming or a cymbal clashing. If I have the gift of prophecy, understanding all the mysteries there are, and knowing everything, and if I have faith in all its fullness, to move mountains, but without love, then I am nothing at all. If I give away all that I possess, piece by piece and if I even let them take my body to burn it, but am without love, it will do me no good whatever. Love is always patient and kind; it is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offence, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end.
I wrote all the above before this Tuesday, when something very serious took place in my world, involving someone I love. I fear another loss. I fear dealing with another death. I am not ready. When are we ever ready? Today I am hanging on to the final thought in the reading: It (love) is always ready to . . . . endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end. 

I will write again when I can share publicly what it going on.

Jane~




6 comments:

Vickie said...

so sorry you are dealing with something again. sounds like at least you have time to prepare this go around. which can be a blessing.

Marion Shaw said...

Hi Jane, I hope you're okay. I just want you to know that I care about you.

:-) Marion

Joan said...

Oh, Jane. I am thinking of you too.

Laura said...

So sorry Jane (((Hugs)))

Vickie said...

Been thinking about you all week.

Jane Cartelli said...

Thank you ALL. I am glad my brother seems to have turned a good corner.