Saturday, July 13, 2013

Be Ambitious for the Higher Gifts . .

Stagnating my vision for recovery is just as counter-productive as answering to someone else's vision for my recovery. I will be looking for 'something else' without understanding why and I will be perpetually unsatisfied. I need to 'seek the higher gifts.' For this reason I practice being aware of today more than I did before.

My senses are waking up again. I feel like I have been asleep for a year.  This does not mean going out and abusing the things I feel I deprived myself of yesterday. There is more to life that satisfying my various appetites.

Dr Katz writes more about the hazard of reconciling ambition and satisfaction. I wrote a post on it  on June 19thYou can read Dr Katz's article if you want at Fantaspirations and Fallen Arches. 

For me, it made me think of a scripture reading. Reading it again now, I am filled with a new sense of understanding on how this applies to me life beyond my marriage, my children, my family. Being ambitious for the higher gifts is a call to nurture what I can achieve today because today is truly all I have.
1 Corinthians 12:31-13:8
Be ambitious for the higher gifts. And I am going to show you a way that is better than any of them. If I have all the eloquence of men or of angels, but speak without love, I am simply a gong booming or a cymbal clashing. If I have the gift of prophecy, understanding all the mysteries there are, and knowing everything, and if I have faith in all its fullness, to move mountains, but without love, then I am nothing at all. If I give away all that I possess, piece by piece and if I even let them take my body to burn it, but am without love, it will do me no good whatever. Love is always patient and kind; it is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offence, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end.
I wrote all the above before this Tuesday, when something very serious took place in my world, involving someone I love. I fear another loss. I fear dealing with another death. I am not ready. When are we ever ready? Today I am hanging on to the final thought in the reading: It (love) is always ready to . . . . endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end. 

I will write again when I can share publicly what it going on.



Vickie said...

so sorry you are dealing with something again. sounds like at least you have time to prepare this go around. which can be a blessing.

Unknown said...

Hi Jane, I hope you're okay. I just want you to know that I care about you.

:-) Marion

Joan said...

Oh, Jane. I am thinking of you too.

Laura said...

So sorry Jane (((Hugs)))

Vickie said...

Been thinking about you all week.

Jane Cartelli said...

Thank you ALL. I am glad my brother seems to have turned a good corner.