Why is it that what is so blatantly obvious to others in myself is ostensibly invisible to me in myself?
For the last week I have been grieving to the point of depression. I only exercised twice this week and both times were minimal. I lie on top of my bed a good portion of the day and cry, binge-watch NCIS, look at the wrong mementos and eat the wrong foods. By 'wrong' I mean things that will not help move me through the grief and depression and restore me to balance. For instance - I read some of my mother's journals. Well, duh - maybe reading my mother's life is not the best course of action on my emotions right now? I was already feeling grief and this didn't help. I read some things about what my mother felt in her life some 30+ years ago. It made me sad, angry and frustrated - just what I need when I am unbalanced, unfocused and isolating, right? Add to this my unwell choice of eating bread products this week. Bread equals wheat which equals night sweats for me. (No night sweats when I do not have wheat and sugar).
I know better and yet . . . .
Enough. I feel sick now. Mint tea this morning and a commitment to my normal food plan. I cannot change this past week. I do not have to repeat it.
I can be grateful for that.
What are you grateful for today?