You sit waiting to be called in for your turn at the surgery center. You have not eaten in more than 24 hours. You need to keep getting up to use the bathroom because that just keeps happening even though you are sure there could not possibly be anything else in there. Half the people in the waiting area are sharing the experience with you today as they, too, are there for a colonoscopy. The other half of the people in the room are the designated caregivers - those people who drove us to the procedure and will take us home afterwards. In this center the caregiver MUST remain on site the entire time. They cannot leave and pick you up. There is coffee available for the caregivers but not has broken ranks and gone for a cup. They are all in solidarity with their hungry loved ones.
Enter the Self Absorbed Woman (SAW). She is both noisy and flashy. She is slender, well proportioned and dressed casually, but with lots of jewelry and accessories (purse with scarf swag). It is all about her - and just so you have the correct vision of SAW she was the caregiver, not the patient. Saw is a woman in her late 40's who is there with her husband and son (the patient). He is mid-20s. Saw is not all happy that they will not take her son immediately. She has a tennis game later and has to get her nails done. SAW sits in a chair right by the door into the surgical waiting area to make sure they do not forget about her (her son and her husband are obviously trying to sit quietly and be unobtrusive). SAW is the attention squeaky wheel in this family.
Saw sends her husband back out to the car. He returns and hands her a bag and walks away. SAW opens the bag and pulls out a doughnut followed by a danish. She eats them with gusto, smacking her lips and licking her fingers after each bite. More than half the people in the waiting room are staring at her. I am watching the people staring at her. I think that if I call for a flash mob to trample SAW we will have a stampede just from the people in this room.
Her husband whispers something to her about consideration for their son, who has not been able to eat. She shrugs. Husband looks embarrassed. I text a friend and tell her I feel like slapping SAW. My friend texts back that she supports my decision to beat SAW senseless. Luckily they call me in next.