Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Scale Based Emo

See, even with that thin
body, she has a fat head! 
As I posted yesterday, I lost 3.2 lbs. It was a day of Scale Based Emotions all based on my expectations, my wants and my urge to control.

My expectations are that I lose weight faster. Why? When I lost the same pounds previously they came off faster. Ah, but here is the rub: they came back on pretty quick, too. I didn't have a firm appreciation or healthy respect for the process. I took it lightly and developed an 'I've got this/I know what I am doing' attitude, instead of listening and accepting the help of experiences from others who tread this path before me. Now, the weight comes off slower but it is coming off without bounces of insanity or any 'nibbles, tastes or bites'.

My wants are that I see numbers that 'feel' commensurate to the effort expended. When my eating is clean I want pomp and parade. When I sweated through a month of workouts, I want the numbers on the scale to sing praise. Looking at this I know that I need to continue to adapt my 'reward' away from the scale. Maybe I need to give myself a gold star for each healthy weigh in. I'll think about this some more. As for the workouts - I must remain honest: I did slack off a bit on the workouts last month because I was so busy at work. Keeping that in mind, I can accept the scale results more evenly but it would still be better to move away from the negative SBEs. (scale-based emotions)

As for my urge to control. Control what? Did daily weigh-ins keep me from re-gaining weight? No. Did weekly weigh-ins foster greater weight loss? No. I find that weighing once a month is giving me one day of SBE a month and I can handle that easier than 30 days of playing games. On the weigh-in day I am either happy with the amount I lose or pissed off that it is not more and then I have to dig deep into my program on that day but I go to bed food sober and wake up the next day still balanced and I do not think about it again until 29 days later, when I start thinking about scale day again. I accept that this will get better over time and for today I ignore the people who ask why I don't do something to lose quicker*faster*easier*.

It is about keeping the pounds off, not getting them off over and over again.



bbubblyb said...

As we know this is life long and we have to figure out what works best for each of us. You're doing great jane :)

Sean Anderson said...

Excellent insights, Jane. You know yourself very well. Your self-awareness is such a wonderful thing. The SBE's you're describing---oh my, they're so powerful. I'm so glad you have such a fantastic perspective.
Once a month weigh days...that's just smart.
I'm doing every three weeks--I think that'll work for me.
Excellent work, my friend.

Vickie said...

I think my gold star comes each day my food was clean, i got my sleep, drank my water, exercised my tush, lived simply and without drama, spoke kindly to others, was proactive and at peace. Mine is a mental gold star. Daily habits are key for me.

Really interesting post on so many levels.