Tuesday, November 18, 2014

The Telling Story of a Chocolate Experiment*

Not my nails
*No sugar was consumed in the writing of this story. No product is displayed in edible form in this post.

I loved what Crabby McSlacker posted the other day about her experiment with Kettle Corn and portion control. It reminded me of my multi-decade experiment with M(and)M candies.

The ampersand often fails in formatting so I avoid using it but you know what I mean by M(and)M. That freaking rainbow bag of chocolate mock happiness. I adored the colorful little buggers my whole life. It was my chocolate candy of choice for many years. When I was a kid we had red, blue, green, orange, yellow, light brown and dark brown. Then we lost blue because of the dye issue. Then we lost red. Then red came back. Then we got blue back. Finally, we lost light brown. Mourning ensued. (Are you detecting my emotional connection to these freakn' things?)

When they came out with holiday themed bags of the damn things I was in candy coated heaven. From the way I reacted to the Halloween, Fall, Easter and Christmas color lines, you would have thought it meant there was something  new and wonderful about the taste of each color. Not so! There is no noticeable difference, no matter what my mind tells me about the green ones.

That's right - the green  ones. Here goes the story.

I knew I had to 'limit' my consumption of candy/chocolate so I reasoned that I could just eat the green ones. Of course to get the amount of chocolate I wanted this meant I had to buy bigger bags. Eventually I would start to reason that orange was the new green and eat all the orange.
Candy 1: Jane 0.

I played the game where would limit myself to the green ones in the Christmas line of red and green. I threw out the red and only had the green. I could only have a couple at a time. I couple is two, right? My 'couples' must have been from bigamist candy families because two was easily a handful by the third taste. I found every possible excuse to return to the room with the container and have just a 'couple more.'
Candy 2: Jane 0

Now this reminds me of a Lego Store
Then I tried only having the original green color, removing said green buttons from the bag and giving away the rest of the bag immediately. This proved to be a puny little amount of chocolate for my 'needs' but I stuck with it until I found that I could go to the mall, where they have a WHOLE STORE DEVOTED TO THESE G!#$D@#$M THINGS and purchase bags of just a single color. Now any color I could try to 'limit' was available in untold quantities by just visiting the mall.
Candy 3: Jane 0

My mind can conjure up the smell and taste even today, in a home that does not have any candy in it. Yes, these innocent little buttons of chocolate were the last candy I ate before being freed from sugar insanity nine months ago ago. I write innocent because the candy is not to blame for the addiction I have to sugar. Addiction is a disease: not a sin, not a crime and not an excuse.  I have already done all the experimenting needed in my life with this subject.

My experiments were a complete success! I successfully proved without a doubt that portion control did not and will not work for me when it comes to sugary things. My experimenting days are over.

Candy fails: Jane Wins.

Did you/Do you have an emotional attachment to a candy?



Nutrivorous said...

A local hardware store has a gumball machine filled with M&M's. Put in a quarter, get some M&M's. It's harder to binge eat in that setting. Sure, I might put in one quarter. Or two. Or three. But 30 or 40 quarters in, the guys at the hardware store start to get annoyed.

Jane Cartelli said...

You wrote "the guys at the hardware store start to get annoyed"

and I thought "sure, because you were eating their stash!"

I once got a gift of the kid/home gumball machines when I was about ten years old. My mother got rid of that ASAP. She said it would attract bugs in the apartment but seriously, do you think the candy would have lasted in there long enough for a bug to know it was there. I think not!

That also reminds me of the day I first saw the M&M dispenser for purchase at Bed Bath and Beyond. I told my husband that it was a terrible evil thing and that I wanted one filled with the green ones. Of course he ignored me and I never got it - thank God.

Nutrivorous said...

Having the gumball machine in the house could be deadly. I remember once I ran across a giant Costco supply of Rain-Blo bubble gum, which gave me a nostalgic thrill. They are the exact gumballs we used to get in penny machines as a kid, back when there actually was such a thing as a penny gumball machine.

The Costco container had over 700 gumballs and they were just 5 calories each. So, portion control and sensible snacking. What could go wrong?

As it turns out, I developed a habit of chewing 2 or 3 or 5 or 10 gumballs at a time, so the whole thing with its 1,000 grams of sugar was gone in a couple of weeks. I didn't get another container.

Eventually, I dissociated the concept of "sweetness" from my concept of "food", and this did help me lose and maintain 80+ pounds of weight loss. I embraced "sour" and "bitter" as flavors. So, now my "sugar free" lemonade is literally just ice water with a hefty amount of lemon juice added to it, I drink black coffee and I sometimes munch on unsweetened chocolate (100% cacao), though lately I've been leaning toward Lindt 90%.

Unknown said...

I have a green M&M gal coffee mug, from which I drink coffee, cocoa, and tea. I like her for cartoon value, but do you notice that her middle is none too slim for being the sexy M&M, which is a reminder that we too get enormous middles from candy--not worth it at all. :-)

Vickie said...

I could have written the same thing about short phases with different colors of pop. I had a orange thing and a purple thing. I think. It was a long time ago. I also had a rootbeer float thing. That one I remember vividly.

Mary said...

Growing up in Canada we had Smarties instead of M&Ms and the only thing better than eating them by the handful was painting my lips with the red ones.